I always know what they're going to say the minute they start the sentence. What happens is, I meet some guy, through friends or at an event, and he happens to live in New York. And he asks me to go out to dinner. So we talk about various locales in Manhattan, and then he raises his eyebrows a bit, cocks his head, and says, "I might ... even..."

I know what the next few words are going to be: "...make the trek to New Jersey." "Oh, my GOD!!!" I think. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! PLEASE MARRY ME! I mean, that is just so amazing that you are willing to hop on the PATH train and take a 15 minute ride to Hoboken or Jersey City, places that are closer to you than any of the New York neighborhoods we just mentioned. I'll even pay. I hope it doesn't hurt you to leave Manhattan. Perhaps I'll give you a few bucks for laundry before you go back, so you can wash the Jerseyness out of your clothes."

What exactly is it that makes people think Hoboken and Jersey City are somewhere on the moon? And why is it taken for granted among New Yawkers that we will always meet them, and not the other way around?

What's really funny is that when these people do say they're willing to come to New Jersey, they say it slowly, as if they're not even sure. It's like they're offering to move your furniture for the day and hoping you'll talk them out of it.

At least sometimes this can be chalked up to ignorance. When they're being snooty simply for snootiness' sake, it's another matter.

On the day of the St. Paddy's parade in Hoboken this year, I got on a bus to go into New York to meet a friend. Behind me were a bunch of guys who apparently had just been drinking at a few of Hoboken's bars. From the conversation, I figured out what was going on: One of them lived in Hoboken and had been trying to get his friends to visit for some time. He'd finally twisted their arm with the promise of heavy St. Pat's boozing. So they had spent some of the day in Hoboken.

As we entered the mouth of the Lincoln Tunnel, one of the friends said to him, "I can't believe you have to do this commute EVERY DAY."

"It's shorter than your commute from Queens," the guy said, but his buddies weren't having any of it.

"Jersey sucks," said the other so-called friend

"That is the last anti-Jersey comment I'll accept before I really get pissed," the Hoboken resident said.

"Aw come on," continued Buddy Number Two. "We came out, didn't we? We did the Boken."

The Boken?

Does anyone really say that?

As we reached the New Jersey/New York sign on the wall of the tunnel, he exclaimed, "Yaaay! I'm never coming to New Jersey again!"

I couldn't help turning around. "We'll miss you," I said sweetly.

I left the bus and thought about all the good things Hoboken has to offer, not to mention the fact that you don't have to pay $3,000 per month to live in a closet. But then again, if all New Yawkers knew how much they could get in Hoboken or Jersey City, they'd all move here. So maybe we're better off keeping this to ourselves. Let them waste their money and walk around saying things like "Boken." - C.L.