Jamez Eli’s Instagram feed is heavy with images of gorgeous women. They each have flawless makeup, picture-perfect tresses, and glowing smiles. They know that thanks to Eli, they look good. But you have to dig a little deeper to find a photo of the stylist himself.
“It’s kind of scary to be up front on stage,” says Eli, who has battled anxiety for much of his life. “I’m usually more behind the scenes.”
Eli is a self-described glamour guy. He does hair and makeup, designs and makes custom clothing and accessories, and mixes up batches of homemade lip gloss in his Bayonne kitchen.
One day while scrolling through Instagram, he saw a post about the Mr. United States pageant. Eli had been involved in the pageant scene for years, doing hair and makeup backstage and sewing sequins on costumes for many women and girls. He had never before considered stepping into the spotlight and competing. He was intrigued by the idea of a pageant for men, so he decided to face his fears.
He went to the casting call in New York City, where he stood in a long line of hopefuls. About a week after the audition, he got an email that said he was selected to compete for New Jersey as Mr. Garden State.
On the Borderline
Eli grew up in Jersey City on the border of Bayonne, where he eventually moved. Even before he called Bayonne home, Eli came here often to dine and shop with his family. He remembers the Bayonne of his childhood as a more glamorous place than it is today.
“Broadway used to be phenomenal,” he says, recalling fun-filled days of shopping locally, but as he grew up, he noticed a downturn. Residents were traveling out of town to find stylish stores and salons, as Bayonne favorites closed. “There was kind of a death of Broadway,” he says.
As a child, Eli knew that he wanted to work in the beauty industry. Though supportive, his parents wanted him to go to college instead of beauty school.
“I decided to follow another passion, which is fashion,” Eli says. He earned a degree in fashion design from The Art Institute of New York City. After college he worked in cosmetics for about seven years before deciding to go back to school to get his license in cosmetology.
“Now, having both my degree in fashion design and my cosmetology license I am focusing on building my empire and bringing fashion and beauty back into cities like Bayonne, one client at a time.”
New Jersey’s Gentleman
The Mr. United States Pageant bills itself as the search for The Nation’s Gentleman. Dozens of men were picked to compete for the title. When Eli headed to the event in New Orleans, he thought that because of his years in the pageant industry he knew what to expect.
“Female pageantry can be very cutthroat,” Eli says. The men’s pageant was nothing like that. When he arrived at the Bourbon Street hotel he formed fast friendships with his competitors. “From day one the organization was telling us we were bonding in ways that they have never seen before,” he says. “I had never seen a group of men from all walks of life bond like this. We cried together and we prayed together. It really was a life-changing experience for everyone, and being in a place that was so high-spirited and high energy, the atmosphere of New Orleans had an impact.”
As part of the competition, Eli had to pick a community platform or social cause. Since being a part of the pageant meant confronting his anxiety, he decided that would be the perfect platform. He created #anxietyspeaksup, a social-media movement that urges anxiety sufferers to speak up without shame.
“For me, anxiety was not being able to control my emotions and my feelings,” he says. “Being in a room with multiple conversations going on was a trigger for me.” Eli says that anxiety can mean different things to different people and that PTSD and OCD are linked with anxiety. “In most kinds of anxiety people feel like they don’t have control,” he says. “I’m learning to live with it rather than suffer from it.” He does not take medication but rather combats it through exercise and art, which can mean yoga or even adult coloring books.
A Good Showing
Eli made it to the top eight in the Mr. United States competition and hopes to go back next year. He took home a special award for his social activism and won a brand ambassador position that he shares with five other contestants. This year, Eli will attend Mr. United States promotional events because of this position.
#anxietyspeaksup continues to flourish. “My voice gave them a voice to speak up about it,” Eli says. “I’ve had strangers reach out to me from across the world. When I started to get that kind of feedback I realized there was no way that I could ever stop doing this.”
He connected the cause with fashion by creating #anxietyspeaksup T-shirts, which are available on his online store, jamezeli.com.
Eli also plans to host a local event to support the cause. “I’ve been to city hall, and I’ve had a couple of meetings to put together an anxiety walk,” he says. “Hopefully that will be this spring.”
He wants to have his first event in Bayonne because he sees the city returning to what it once was. He wants to be part of restoring Broadway to the shopping destination that he remembers fondly.
“Bayonne is a great town, and it has a lot of potential,” he says. “I’m in the process of trying to find the perfect place for a beauty bar in Bayonne where women can come to be fabulous.” He envisions a salon with a retail space and just the right ambiance. “I’m trying to bring that glamorous aspect back to Bayonne. I want to create a safe haven for glamour.”—BLP.
