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The decade-long tenure of Rolando Lavarro

10. A decade is how long Rolando Lavarro had been on the Jersey City Council.

Over those ten years, many things changed. Presidencies, mayors, city council members, and other events that rocked around the city. Lavarro was there, watching what had changed.

But his time on the council came to an end, having lost reelection for a third full term last year. While the ending for him is bittersweet, there’s some relief to the outcome.

“It’s a challenging position,” said Lavarro in an interview at City Hall in the last few weeks of his tenure. “I’m kind of relieved to be able to refocus there and turn my attention to other priorities.”

For better or worse, he had a reputation for being one of Mayor Steve Fulop’s most persistent critics in his later years. But Lavarro was more than just that. He broke through racial barriers, helped pass legislation in the city, and became an advocate for a number of issues.

It was the decade of Lavarro, and it was a standout career for one of the most well known political figures in the city.

In other words, “Thanks, Obama”

2009. The year Lavarro got involved in politics.

Lavarro got started after being inspired by President Barack Obama’s first inauguration speech in his message for change. Or as he jokingly puts it, “I like to blame Obama for the misery he put me through.”

After Obama’s speech, a friend of his urged him to consider running for the city council, which he did. He first ran for election in 2009 for the Ward A council seat, but lost in a runoff election to Michael Sottolano.

However, he later got an opportunity following the aftermath of the corruption sting known as Operation Bid Rig, where multiple council members resigned and left a few seats open.

He gave it another go in a special election in 2011 by teaming up with the late Viola Richardson, and they ultimately both won two at-large seats. Lavarro later won a full term for the city council in 2013 alongside then-Councilman Steve Fulop, who won the mayor’s office that year.

That same year, Lavarro became council president, a position that he would hold until 2019.

Legislative accomplishments and challenges

Reflecting on his ten years in the City Council, Lavarro touted a number of accomplishments, but also lamented on the challenges that still remain.

His legislative achievements include creating paid sick days, a first for the state of New Jersey at the time, a smoking ban in the city’s parks, and establishing an Immigrant Affairs Commission.

Lavarro also credits his and many others’ advocacy for the newest inclusionary zoning ordinance. After criticisms over the previously loophole filled one, a new one without loopholes was eventually adopted in the City Council at the end of last year (although he ultimately voted against it in its final adoption).

Lavarro had a number of challenges throughout his tenure. He mourned the loss of Councilman Michael Yun after his death in 2020. Photo by Jennifer Brown/City of Jersey City.

One of the challenges he faced was creating a new brand of politics in the city, different from “the patronage, the nepotism, putting profits and developer interests over the city’s residents,” as he describes it.

But he regrets that too much of the city’s politics hasn’t changed. “There have been some changes on the surface,” he said. “But the root conditions of that remain, and so I think there’s a need to address that fundamentally.”

The other challenges Lavarro faced throughout the rest of his tenure were the effects of the Trump presidency, then the COVID-19 pandemic. He was hospitalized for COVID and recalled being terrified at the time, and mourning over the loss of Councilman Michael Yun, who died from complications of COVID in 2020.

Representing the Filipino community

1. Lavarro was the first ever Asian American and Filipino American to serve in the council’s history.

“With chants of ‘Mabuhay (long live) the Philippines! Mabuhay Jersey City,’ members of Jersey City’s Filipino community cheered as Rolando Lavarro was sworn in as the City Council’s newest at-large representative,” wrote the Hudson Reporter in 2011.

“Lavarro noted that in the Philippines, when a member of the community has to move, members of the community come together in what is called the ‘Bayanihan spirit’,” the article continued. “Working together, he said, community members literally lift up the home that has to be moved.”

“This example,” he said, “shows how an entire community must come together to solve its problems and address its challenges.”

Lavarro became the first ever Asian American and Filipino American to serve on the Jersey City Council. Photo by Jennifer Brown/City of Jersey City.

“It’s something that I took very seriously, in being that first,” said Lavarro. “Knowing that my service and how I comported and conducted myself on the city council would serve as a model for other future generations.”

Lavarro said that most Filipino Americans are looking for the same thing every other voter is looking for, particularly in local government. Having their tax dollars spent well, good quality public services, good education and quality of life.

Last year, he had been vocal in speaking out against anti-Asian racism after the Atlanta killings, and brought people together to speak out. Near the end of 2021, he advocated for a bill in the State Legislature that would require teaching history about Asian American Pacific Islanders in New Jersey (the bill was passed and is awaiting Gov. Phil Murphy’s signature).

For Lavarro, his belief is to ensure that minority communities have representation and a voice.

“There’s the old saying that if you’re not at the table, you’re probably on the menu. I think from what I’ve seen in politics and government, I believe that to be true.”

Nearing the end

83. The amount of days before Election Day on Nov. 3.

Around that time, Lavarro had been contemplating his decision for the 2021 municipal elections, where he would run as an independent against the establishment. He had considered running for mayor, but when he was figuring out a potential pathway to victory, he was pessimistic about it.

The moment that spurred him to give it a go, however, was when housing advocates won their lawsuit against the city over the loophole-ridden IZO, of which he’d been a major critic.

The biggest thing for him was whether or not his family would be supportive. This time around, he said, they weren’t as inclined. But after having a personal conversation, he had the full support of his wife and daughter to run for another term as a councilman.

But in the end, despite his efforts, the voters decided to choose otherwise on Nov. 3.

______________________________________________________________________

58. The number of days Lavarro had left in the City Council after losing reelection.

Lavarro ultimately lost his at-large seat to Amy DeGise, the Hudson County Democratic Chairwoman and daughter of County Executive Tom DeGise.

“It was disappointing, but I’m not incredibly surprised,” he said. He lamented over the low turnout in the municipal elections last year, but he wasn’t going to make any excuses. “The results are very definitive.”

Lavarro’s exit from the City Council was bittersweet, but he’s now looking into his next chapter. Photo by Mark Koosau.

As he pored over his long career in the city council, he’s looking at what the next chapter in his life will be.

And while he had his accomplishments and misgivings about the political atmosphere in a place like Jersey City, he had noted that a number of good things have changed over the past decade, such as the growth in the city and the arts community being more stabilized.

In his final days in the heart of Jersey City, he gave thanks to all the people, groups, and organizations that he worked with throughout the years, and noted that there’s a need for people to have a voice in the government.

“I’m glad that I could work for you,” he said to the constituents. “That’s what motivated me over my 10 years in office. I’m just happy to be of service.”

For updates on this and other stories, check www.hudsonreporter.com and follow us on Twitter @hudson_reporter. Mark Koosau can be reached at mkoosau@hudsonreporter.com or his Twitter @snivyTsutarja.

Mayor Bhalla’s City Council Voting Block Chose Cannabis Over Kids

Dear Editor:

The City Council has let the Hoboken residents know in a 5-4 vote that having a cannabis dispensary approximately 200 feet from two schools is no big deal. The decision was made before anyone entered the Council Chambers despite compelling public comments and concerns. The City Council never addressed ANY of the resident’s legitimate concerns which centered around child/school safety and community benefits, instead the Council gave nonsensical statements that they believed gave them cover for approving Blue Violets Dispensary.

The Majority Council Position

1. “The World is not ending this evening. Tomorrow, we’ll wake up and find that the sun still rises in the east, our families still love us and we still have to go to work.”

Joe Quintero started off his justification for opening up a dispensary across the street from the school with this soliloquy. This was the beginning of what would be a lecture from the majority council with every message delivered in a condescending manner that the City Council knows better than its residents.

2. The Planning Board’s feelings are hurt

This was the sentiment of several Council members. Most people would agree that Planning Board members are volunteers and it isn’t an easy job, but members of City Council felt the need to defend them because of some dubious decisions made regarding the Blue Violets hearing. During the Planning Board meeting, an objection was made regarding the legality of the “Time of Application” statute, the Planning Board and its attorney could not render an opinion. In fact, the meeting went into back-and-forth discussion which made clear to the public that they had no idea what to do. When members of the Planning Board asked for legal guidance the Planning Board attorney said something to affect, “when there’s ambiguity in the law, we lean to the side of the applicant.” This upset residents.

3. “It may be that it’s as bad as we feared, or may turn out not as bad as we feared.”

Phil Cohen wanted to make the “let’s see how it goes” argument. Residents made in public comments that it defies common sense that the city would experiment with a dispensary so close in proximity to the schools even if there were a remote possibility of putting the council’s most vulnerable constituents, children, and their school communities at risk. Evidently, Phil doesn’t believe in common sense arguments and is willing to roll the dice.

4. There is a Vape Shop across the street!!!

First, “two wrongs don’t make a right” but thank you Emily Jabbour for pointing this out. All Saints has been complaining about the Vape Shop since it opened. It was the city’s zoning laws that allowed that business to go in, in the first place. Could you please get rid of that store and all of the improper alcohol advertising on that corner? You have the power to do it!

5. The word “fear-mongering” is in the public ethos and members of the City Council are using it.

“Fear-mongering” along with “stigmatizer” are labels used as a cudgel to shame residents from voicing their legitimate concerns. Residents have been repeatedly stating that this issue has nothing to do with cannabis dispensaries in Hoboken. In fact, most residents are in favor of cannabis dispensaries opening in Hoboken. In the case of Blue Violets, it has always been about its location and proximity to the schools.

6. It seems it’s harder to get a deck approved on the back of your house than it is to open a cannabis dispensary.

A point was made that during zoning/planning board meetings, residents have been in tears when their projects were rejected by either of the land use boards. Blue Violet’s application soared through the process without having to present a traffic or architecture study to the public or board.

7. City Council continues to conflate recreational and medicinal cannabis usage.

Several members of the City Council used the need for medicinal cannabis for cancer, anxiety, postpartum-related issues, as arguments for approving Blue Violets. Nobody disagrees that cannabis has a valuable medicinal purpose. Reminder, we are talking about a recreational dispensary. A maximum of six dispensaries will be opening in Hoboken’s mile square. That means a cannabis purchaser will only need to walk a few blocks away to a dispensary. Residents argue that asking a cannabis purchaser to walk 600 feet away from the schools to get to a dispensary is not an undue burden whether for medicinal or recreational purposes.

8. I am a social worker so I know better.

Emily Jabbour found herself in an awkward position. She is the face of Moms Demand Action and Vision Zero, and this vote seemed to be in conflict with a mother who advocates for child safety. She decided her approach was to divorce her “mom” role in the decision. Instead, she decided to be a social worker for this meeting and as such is more qualified to decide on whether Blue Violet should be on the corner of 7th and Washington dismissing research presented by residents. She throws out the “family and kids first” position and takes on the “cannabis purchaser first” position. Not sure how she reconciles that but she does need to sleep at night.

9. Those who need cannabis feel bullied.

Wow! This is another cudgel. Reminder, those who oppose Blue Violets, oppose its location only. Nobody cares if you use cannabis! Members of the City Council are using words like “fear-mongering” and “stigmatization” in the public forums in order to create an inaccurate image of residents who oppose Blue Violets. If the statement is accurate, that residents of the community feel cannabis bullied, then maybe they should look to the City Council which is perpetuating that narrative.

10. We respect everyone’s opinion.

Many of the Council members would start their statements with “I respect everyone’s opinion” which led the public to wait for the “but….we know better than you.” speech. When you have to say, “I respect everyone’s opinion” over and over, you know it’s a phrase they want to hide behind but is completely disingenuous. The public is not stupid and sees right through these condescending statements.

One might wonder why the City Council would take such a position when the optics are poor and potential litigation has arisen. Look no further than Story Dispensary, applying in a C3 zone, also against our Common Sense Cannabis ordinance. If the Council rejected Blue Violets on any basis, it would open the precedent of rejecting any cannabis dispensaries in violation of the common sense ordinance. There is too much political favor and money to gain with Story’s potential approval (future Gubernatorial candidate Steve Fulop’s wife and his SuperPAC director are the defacto owners of said property). This City Council majority wants to ensure Story Dispensary sails through and doesn’t want to have any conflict with that vote. So…City Council decided to risk the health, safety, and well-being of the children in this community for political favor and money. Let that sink in.

It’s all about Story.

Elizabeth Urtecho

‘It’s win-win for all’

There was a moment during Mike “Mickey Magic” Gomez’s Feb. 17 presentation to students at the Washington Elementary School that would’ve sent any Big Tobacco spokesperson running.
The Union City-based magician motioned to his box of “Newfarts,” labeled with “Danger” and “Menfoul Cigarettes.”
“This [Newport] is the number one cigarette that’s smoked in urban areas,” Gomez said.
Gomez, who just signed a contract with the Union City Board of Education for shows at local schools, finds ways to help students make the “best life choices” – in between his actual magic tricks, of course.
_____________
“I know your teachers talk about veggies and fruits; I talk about water – H20, God’s champagne.” – Mickey Magic
____________
“I always tell my children, and everybody that I talk to, you must eat well,” Magic told the kids. “You must eat well, because if all you eat is junk, what happens? Your body turns into junk.”
Appropriately, a nutrition chart was in the background.
“I know your teachers talk about veggies and fruits; I talk about water – H20, God’s Champagne.”
It was a clever segue to his next trick.
After he discussed a bodega visit in which he asked for some of “God’s Champagne,” but instead got a Coca-Cola bottle, he pulled that bottle from a brown paper bag.
“One, two, three,” he began, while waving his fingers over the bag. “Say, ‘Make it disappear.’”
The kids repeated. Seconds later, he turned over the bag. Nothing fell out.
“It’s gone,” Gomez said.
“Wait a minute!” he reassured. “I can make it reappear. One, two, three,” and he pulled out the bottle again. But immediately again, he made the bottle disappear.
Then he pulled out a wine glass with water inside.

Career decision

“I made a decision years ago that if I’m going to entertain, and I have this large audience, from children to adults, I might as well do something useful,” Gomez said after the show. “I have their ears and their eyes. Why not take them and enlighten them?”
“I’m never indifferent,” he added. “When I’m walking down the street, and a kid comes up to me, I swear to God, this happened yesterday: I’m at a supermarket. And then I stopped and went to the Rite-Aid. And always some child, they’re looking at me strange, because I have this hat on and I take my hat off and I have on regular clothes, and he said, ‘Aren’t you Mickey Magic?’ It’s always very flattering.”
Gomez first got into magic growing up in the Bronx. “I got the bug then,” he said. “So I was experimenting, going to magic clubs and magic shops. And then, one day in my 30s I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and I decided, ‘I’m going to make this a living.’” He eventually began a company, “Family Night Entertainment.”
Gomez performs at family nights at local restaurants, and works with other performers who he sends to client restaurants, many of them McDonald’s locations in New York City, with one in Jersey City.
“I assign these performers, and they do balloon animals,” he explained. “They do magic. Of course, face painting. And then the restaurants give a discount to the revelers that come in.”
Gomez acknowledges the slight contradiction in promoting healthy eating with his shows, but having events at the Golden Arches. “McDonald’s is giving you a choice today,” he said. “They went from those big old French fries; they got these little, tiny French fries in the Happy Meals. And now they include a fruit. They’re making a change.”
Gomez works as a magician full-time, something he said is rare. “Ninety-eight percent of the people in this business are not full-timers,” he said.
His career has been of great help through trying times. “[During] my first marriage, my two children died,” he admitted. “The first one, he had issues when he was born; he only lasted a few months; he was an infant. My oldest, Sebastian, died in a tragic auto accident. Then my first wife right after that. People say she died of a brain aneurysm; I say she died of a broken heart. Can’t have your two children dying, and not be the same person.”
But things eventually looked up. He remarried and had two boys. The marriage didn’t last and he has been raising the boys himself.
He said he likes to perform in the inner city. “I’m from the inner city. It’s not that I don’t like doing affluent, upscale communities. But they have all the resources on the planet.”

Likes Union City

Gomez said he works well with Union City Mayor Brian Stack. “I remember when he was walking down the streets years ago, before he ran for mayor. His ambition and everything, he knocks on my door. He impressed the living daylights out of me.”
During a big fire a few years ago in a tenement building, Gomez called the city and offered a free show for the affected children. He made contacts who booked him for Earth Day events at the Eugenio Maria de Hostos Center for Early Childhood in Jersey City.
“What the mayor is attempting to do is just empower the children of Union City,” Gomez said. “There have been some studies that have been done. The culmination of these studies was that when you combine magic with education, there’s a much larger retention experience than just lectures. If magic is presented with message, it’s win-win for all.”
Hannington Dia can be reached at hd@hudsonreporter.com

‘It’s win-win for all’

There was a moment during Mike “Mickey Magic” Gomez’s Feb. 17 presentation to students at the Washington Elementary School that would’ve sent any Big Tobacco spokesperson running.
The Union City-based magician motioned to his box of “Newfarts,” labeled with “Danger” and “Menfoul Cigarettes.”
“This [Newport] is the number one cigarette that’s smoked in urban areas,” Gomez said.
Gomez, who just signed a contract with the Union City Board of Education for shows at local schools, finds ways to help students make the “best life choices” – in between his actual magic tricks, of course.
_____________
“I know your teachers talk about veggies and fruits; I talk about water – H20, God’s champagne.” – Mickey Magic
____________
“I always tell my children, and everybody that I talk to, you must eat well,” Magic told the kids. “You must eat well, because if all you eat is junk, what happens? Your body turns into junk.”
Appropriately, a nutrition chart was in the background.
“I know your teachers talk about veggies and fruits; I talk about water – H20, God’s Champagne.”
It was a clever segue to his next trick.
After he discussed a bodega visit in which he asked for some of “God’s Champagne,” but instead got a Coca-Cola bottle, he pulled that bottle from a brown paper bag.
“One, two, three,” he began, while waving his fingers over the bag. “Say, ‘Make it disappear.’”
The kids repeated. Seconds later, he turned over the bag. Nothing fell out.
“It’s gone,” Gomez said.
“Wait a minute!” he reassured. “I can make it reappear. One, two, three,” and he pulled out the bottle again. But immediately again, he made the bottle disappear.
Then he pulled out a wine glass with water inside.

Career decision

“I made a decision years ago that if I’m going to entertain, and I have this large audience, from children to adults, I might as well do something useful,” Gomez said after the show. “I have their ears and their eyes. Why not take them and enlighten them?”
“I’m never indifferent,” he added. “When I’m walking down the street, and a kid comes up to me, I swear to God, this happened yesterday: I’m at a supermarket. And then I stopped and went to the Rite-Aid. And always some child, they’re looking at me strange, because I have this hat on and I take my hat off and I have on regular clothes, and he said, ‘Aren’t you Mickey Magic?’ It’s always very flattering.”
Gomez first got into magic growing up in the Bronx. “I got the bug then,” he said. “So I was experimenting, going to magic clubs and magic shops. And then, one day in my 30s I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and I decided, ‘I’m going to make this a living.’” He eventually began a company, “Family Night Entertainment.”
Gomez performs at family nights at local restaurants, and works with other performers who he sends to client restaurants, many of them McDonald’s locations in New York City, with one in Jersey City.
“I assign these performers, and they do balloon animals,” he explained. “They do magic. Of course, face painting. And then the restaurants give a discount to the revelers that come in.”
Gomez acknowledges the slight contradiction in promoting healthy eating with his shows, but having events at the Golden Arches. “McDonald’s is giving you a choice today,” he said. “They went from those big old French fries; they got these little, tiny French fries in the Happy Meals. And now they include a fruit. They’re making a change.”
Gomez works as a magician full-time, something he said is rare. “Ninety-eight percent of the people in this business are not full-timers,” he said.
His career has been of great help through trying times. “[During] my first marriage, my two children died,” he admitted. “The first one, he had issues when he was born; he only lasted a few months; he was an infant. My oldest, Sebastian, died in a tragic auto accident. Then my first wife right after that. People say she died of a brain aneurysm; I say she died of a broken heart. Can’t have your two children dying, and not be the same person.”
But things eventually looked up. He remarried and had two boys. The marriage didn’t last and he has been raising the boys himself.
He said he likes to perform in the inner city. “I’m from the inner city. It’s not that I don’t like doing affluent, upscale communities. But they have all the resources on the planet.”

Likes Union City

Gomez said he works well with Union City Mayor Brian Stack. “I remember when he was walking down the streets years ago, before he ran for mayor. His ambition and everything, he knocks on my door. He impressed the living daylights out of me.”
During a big fire a few years ago in a tenement building, Gomez called the city and offered a free show for the affected children. He made contacts who booked him for Earth Day events at the Eugenio Maria de Hostos Center for Early Childhood in Jersey City.
“What the mayor is attempting to do is just empower the children of Union City,” Gomez said. “There have been some studies that have been done. The culmination of these studies was that when you combine magic with education, there’s a much larger retention experience than just lectures. If magic is presented with message, it’s win-win for all.”
Hannington Dia can be reached at hd@hudsonreporter.com

Heads roll at the BBOED

In a meeting on January 25, the Bayonne Board of Education laid off 16 district employees and demoted six others amid a $2 million budget deficit facing the district. It also appointed Michael A. Wanko, PhD, as Interim Superintendent, effective July 1, to take over when Dr. Patricia McGeehan’s contract expires.
“Due to reasons of economy,” read Board Secretary Gary Maita before citing each name and position that would be either cut or transferred. Before he cast his vote to fire 14 secretaries and a teacher’s aide, Board President Joseph Broderick called the evening, “one of the toughest nights I’ve ever had being on this board.”
Trustees were visibly upset over their tough decisions. After all, they did not invite the budget shortfall. “All these people that we’re talking about in my estimate are doing a terrific job, which makes it that much more difficult to cut these positions,” said Broderick, adding that all decisions made during the meeting are of “a strictly financial matter.”
“These positions were added at a time, from what I understand, the board wasn’t aware of the financial situation we were in. Now we’re in a spot where we’re trying to reverse those decisions.”
After the board voted on each individual “transfer,” or demotion, Alan D’Angelo, President of the Bayonne Teachers Association, asked Business Administrator Leo Smith to follow up with a cost savings figure.
Laura Craig was transferred from her position of Director of Special Programs to Coordinator of Academy of Fine Arts and Academics, saving the district $71,461 annually.
Alaina Desjardin was transferred from her position of Director of Planning, Research, Evaluation, Assessment and Accountability to Data Analysis Coordinator, saving the district $68,311.
Lyndia Hayes was transferred from her position as Assistant Principal to Special Education Teacher at Horace Mann Community School, saving the district $27,002 annually.
Christopher Romano was transferred from his position as Assistant Principal to Social Studies Teacher at Midtown Community School, saving the district $61,914 annually.
Melissa Sisk was transferred from her position as Assistant Supervisor of Technology to Technology Facilitator, saving the district $23,275 annually.
Heather Zalis was transferred from her position as Assistant Principal to 5th Grade Teacher at Nicholas Oresko Community School, saving the district $63,014 annually.

_____________

“With all due respect, if we had known about the financial difficulties, I would have hired him sooner. The payback is tremendous. I think we’re making a terrible mistake.” – Trustee Theodore Garelick
____________

Interim superintendent, extraordinaire

The board voted unanimously to approve former Bayonne High School principal, Dr. Michael A. Wanko,as interim superintendent, choosing from a list of 12 candidates. Aside from serving as principal from 1981 through 2002, he was an interim superintendent at Manchester Regional School District in Passaic County from 2014-2016 and as interim principal of Manchester Regional High School. After serving as principal at BHS, he became a principal at Piscataway High School. In addition to his years of experience in public education, he has had his own education consulting firm since 1981.
His appointment is pending final approval from interim executive county superintendent Monica Tone. His contract, which is not yet hammered out, is for a one-year period, but the board has the power to extend it another year.

Risk vs. risk

Apart from the 14 classroom aides and one librarian aide, the board laid off the district’s risk manager, Chris Patella, in order to clear his $85,000 salary. There was much discussion about his value to the district, with some on the board arguing that he saves the district much more money than he makes by informing important financial decisions.
The irony of a board of trustees weighing the risk of firing the risk manager was overlooked in the somber mood of the evening. “Seeing the finances that I’ve seen, we are really in a dire straight,” said Broderick at the workshop meeting prior to the regular meeting where trustees discussed the employment status of Patella before voting to lay him off at the regular meeting.
Trustee Theodore Garelick defended Patella’s hire in December of 2015. “I have been trying for years to get a risk manager in this district because I know the direct correlation of someone who is tasked with what will drive up cost as opposed to driving down cost,” said Garelick citing his experience in private business. “With all due respect, if we had known about the financial difficulties, I would have hired him sooner. The payback is tremendous. I think we’re making a terrible mistake.”
“Other districts in this county that are more well-funded than us do not have this position,” said Trustee Christopher Munoz, calling Patella’s position a “luxury this board cannot afford,” and said his role should be absorbed by the business administrator.
It seemed that no layoff or demotion was easy for the board. When it came to Patella, Broderick said, “We’re considering things that would have the least impact on students themselves.”

Rory Pasquariello may be reached at roryp@hudsonreporter.com.

Enlivening Ourselves

0

Dear Dr. Norquist:
I am having trouble with my relationship with my sister, and I’m hoping you can give some advice about it. I have two brothers and two sisters but one of them, my youngest, I’ve always felt somewhat responsible for. I took care of her while my mom was working when I was only 10. I guess the care-taking role stuck. Now I’m 40 and she’s 34 and I still worry too much about her well-being.
She doesn’t have good judgment. She hangs out with the wrong people and she can’t seem to support herself financially. I worry also about her safety. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. I also spend a lot of time feeling angry at her for decisions she makes (or doesn’t make). All this worrying and anger doesn’t seem to help the situation at all and it is definitely having a bad effect on me. I have trouble relaxing. My sleep is affected and I’m often tense and worried. My husband is sick and tired of me obsessing about my sister’s well-being. I wonder if you have any advice for me?

Dr. Norquist responds:
There is a concept called “over care” that probably applies to your situation. It is the result of being overly attached to or overly identified with someone or something. Overcare always leads to anxiety and fatigue. It also distracts us from and leaves us less capable of responding to our own lives. Often, when we overcare, we are trying to control something or someone in an attempt to feel safe and secure. My hunch is that you’d like your sister to have good judgement and show that she can take good care of herself so that you can relax, and feel secure, knowing she is safe. You are overly invested and it is wearing you down. Your response to your sister’s behavior makes a lot of sense, given your history of having been her care-taker when you were a child yourself. You, however, will never have control over her decisions and actions; so this is a no-win situation. It’s time now to focus on taking care of yourself.
There is a technique called HeartMath, founded by Doc Childre, that you can use when you are feeling consumed with anxiety or anger regarding your sister (or anything else, for that matter). It consists of simple but effective tools for refocusing your emotions. Research confirms that the heart sends neural messages to the parts of the brain that govern emotion and higher reasoning capacities. The HeartMath technique consists of tools to bring your heart rhythms into a coherent, harmonious waveform. This pulls your brainwaves into synchronization with your heart, which leads to greater mental clarity along with feelings of security and well being. Worry, anger, frustration and anxiety evoke irregular and chaotic heart rhythmic patterns that can be transformed using simple HeartMath tools.
A simple HeartMath tool that can be extremely effective is the “Power of Neutral.” To use this tool, start by noticing your feelings. This is not as straightforward as it might appear. Often underlying feelings are expressed as muscular tension, an acidic stomach, or rapid heartbeat, while we are not even cognizant of what we are feeling. Taking time out to notice and name whatever the underlying feeling is helps to regulate the emotional energy that is running through your body. Noticing your physiological cues will alert you to the necessity for stepping back and naming the feeling that is churning through your system. Once you name the feeling, focus your attention on the center of your chest, near your heart. Now, breathe slowly and deeply, imagining the air entering and leaving through the center of your chest. Try to disengage from the stressful thoughts and feelings, as you continue to breathe in a relaxing casual manner through your heart. Continue this process for several minutes, until you feel a shift, signifying that you have neutralized the emotional charge. Holding the attitude and the intent of neutral while engaging in this exercise will help you to dissipate the negative emotion. For more information on this technique, see The HeartMath Solution, by Childre and Martin (2000). Please give it a try and let me know if this is helpful to you. It can be a wonderful technique for disengaging from your “overcare” with your sister, and recharging and revitalizing your life.

(Dr. Sallie Norquist is a licensed psychologist (NJ #2371) in private practice and is director of Chaitanya Counseling Services, a center for upliftment and enlivenment, in Hoboken.) Dr. Norquist and the staff of Chaitanya invite you to write them at Chaitanya Counseling Services, 51 Newark St., Suite 202, Hoboken, NJ 07030 or www.chaitanyacounseling.com or by e-mail at drnorquist@chaitanyacounseling.com. Questions can address various topics, including relationships, life’s stresses, difficulties, mysteries and dilemmas, as well as questions related to managing stress or alternative ways of understanding health-related concerns. 2017 Chaitanya Counseling Services

Hoboken declares state of emergency

(Updated March 15)

Hoboken’s Office of Emergency Management (OEM) declared a State of Emergency in the city on Thursday, March 12 as the city continues to prepare for the coronavirus pandemic.

The OEM, the city’s Department of Health and Human Services, school district Superintendent Dr. Christine Johnson, and representatives from the charter schools have decided to cancel school over the next two weeks as a cautionary measure. 

State of emergency

The State of Emergency allows the OEM and the city to take proactive action in the days and weeks ahead to protect residents.

As of March 15, the city reported three positive COVID-19 cases in Hoboken.

Hoboken has canceled all “non-essential” city-run events and meetings starting March 13.

Canceled events include all city-run recreation activities and sports for children and adults, Planning Board, Zoning Board, and municipal volunteer board meetings, and the scheduled public meetings on Neumann Leathers Redevelopment Project and the NJ Transit Records Building.

The city has also closed all city recreation fields and facilities.

A City Council meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, March 18. The Bhalla administration and Council President Jen Giattino are exploring alternative options to host the meeting.

According to Giattino, options include the possibility of residents sending in questions and comments instead of attending the council meeting to speak but still streaming the meeting, having a phone conference, or canceling the meeting outright.

The OEM has also directed that all bars and restaurant establishments, with or without a liquor license, are no longer permitted to serve food within the restaurant or bar.

If a bar does not currently offer food, they will no longer be permitted to operate and are no longer permitted to serve alcohol, as of 11 a.m. Sunday, March 15.

Any bar or restaurant establishment that currently offers food service will be permitted to conduct food takeout and food delivery service only.

OEM is also implementing a city-wide daily curfew which will be in effect from 10 p.m. through 5 a.m., starting Monday, March 16 until further notice.

During this curfew, all residents will be required to remain in their homes except for emergencies, or if they are required to work by their employer.

Street cleaning is also now suspended.

City parks will remain open with the exception of fields, recreation courts, playgrounds, and restrooms.

Daycares and pop-up camps for children are also closed.The city has closed all gyms, all health clubs, and movie theaters.

City Hall is now closed to the public but all services are available by phone, email, and online only.

Members of the public must call the respective department in City Hall and speak to a representative or leave a message, or send an email to the respective employee or department head, that can be found at http://www.hobokennj.gov and choosing the “departments” tab under “government”.

To prepare for an anticipated surge of patients, the Office of Emergency Management authorized the construction of a medical tent on Fourth Street outside of Hoboken University Medical Center.

The Health Department recommends that residents who believe they have been exposed to a confirmed case of COVID-19 should contact their healthcare provider first instead of going to the emergency room.

“It is critically important for residents to stay home if you are sick and remain home for at least 24 hours until symptoms resolve,” said Bhalla. “It is essential to continue washing and sanitizing your hands frequently. Please work from home if you can for the near future.”

School closed

Schools will be closed over the next two weeks starting Monday, March 16.

“We have prepared all of our remote learning plans and everything is ready to go,” said Superintendent of Schools Dr. Christine Johnson.

Johnson said teachers and staff have worked collaboratively on creating at-home instruction, and the district surveyed all families regarding their access to technology and the internet so that those without access received hard copies of at-home instruction.

“We developed required lessons in math, science, language arts, social studies, and health wellness for all students for every day,” said Johnson, noting that the district is providing 10 hours of instruction.

Johnson also said plans are in place for ESL students, students with special needs, students who require speech therapy and student who require physical therapy.

“Lessons were created from a basis of activities these kids are familiar with, and will be reinforcing at home,” said Johnson, noting therapists will be checking in with students via phone and email.

The district will also provide breakfast and lunch to district students and charter school students who qualified for free and reduced lunch. Grab and go meals will be handed out at the Ninth Street entrance of Hoboken High School by the cafeteria between Clinton and Grand streets. Meal service will be available from 8:30-10:30 a.m

According to state law, absences of 10 or more days must result in disenrollment for all children in Pre-K through 12th grade, but Johnson said that students will not be given absences for the days because school instruction will still be taking place.

Stevens Institute of Technology announced the campus has not had any confirmed cases of COVID-19 but to ensure the health and safety of their community all classes have been moved online through April 5.

“This decision is based on the best public health information we have today,” states a letter to the Stevens community dated March 12 from Marybeth Murphy, Vice President for Enrollment Management and Student Affairs, and Vice President of Human Resources Warren Petty.

To reduce density on campus and limit potential transmission of COVID-19, some employees have been given permission to work remotely.

Students living on campus have been instructed to go home until April 5.

“University settings present unique challenges during a pandemic because of the density of students living and studying in close quarters,” the letter reads. “In addition, our capacity to quarantine those who become sick or those who may have been exposed is extremely limited. The more students who leave campus, the more we can decrease the potential health risk to the broader community. “

Stevens is working with students to help those who can not return home for a variety of reasons. The university is considering each request to remain on campus on a case by case basis.

Students who must remain in Stevens housing during this time should request permission from the Office of Residential and Dining Services (RDS) by clicking here.  Students can email rds@stevens.edu with questions.

Stevens students are asked to check the Stevens homepage regularly for updates.

Library programs canceled

The Hoboken Public Library facilities including the Main Library at 500 Park Ave, the Grand Street Branch, and the Learning Center at the Hoboken Housing Authority will be closed starting Monday, March 16, with a planned reopening of Monday, March 30.

“We apologize for the inconvenience, but this action is necessary to protect the health of our customers and staff during this volatile time,” said Director Lina Podles.

Loan periods will be adjusted to compensate for the closure and all items currently checked out to Hoboken Library cardholders will have their loans extended to Thursday, April 2.

Go to HobokenLibrary.org for the latest library information and to access to vibrant and robust online downloading and streaming services.

Go to HobokenLibrary.org/coronavirus/ for practical information about the Coronavirus.

Rescheduled events

The 19th Annual Tribeca Film Festival was scheduled to make it’s Hoboken debut this April, but according to a statement from co-founder and CEO of Tribeca Enterprises Jane Rosenthal, the festival will be postponed.

“We founded the Tribeca Film Festival as a way to heal our community after the devastation of the 9/11 attacks in 2001,” said Rosenthal. “We were determined to overcome our fear and anxiety by joining together. It is in our DNA to march forward while caring about our community.”

Rosenthal said the “difficult decision” to postpone was based on the announcement by Gov. Andrew Cuomo that events of 500 people or more are banned.

“We are committed to ensuring the health and safety of the public while also supporting our friends, filmmakers and storytellers who look to Tribeca as a platform to showcase their work to audiences. We will be back to you shortly with our plans,” she said.

“Check www.tribecafilm.com for the latest updates, ticket refund information and details about how we are moving forward.”

Little City Books was scheduled to host its 2nd Annual Hoboken Literary Weekend from April 3 to April 5 but according to co-owner Kate Jacobs, the weekend has been rescheduled for the fall. It was to feature several award-winning authors, artists, performers, and journalists at Little City Books as well as at partner venues throughout Hoboken.

The Hoboken Community Center announced it would be rescheduling it’s annual benefit “A Taste of Hoboken” which was to take place on March 18 at Stevens Institute of Technology Howe Center.

“The HCC is working to reschedule the event for later in 2020, and an announcement with the new date will be made shortly,” states their event page. “Guests are encouraged to keep their tickets for the rescheduled event, but those unable to attend on the new date may request a refund via the ticket website.”

Stay Safe

The CDC recommends ways to limit the risk of contracting and spreading the virus.

Recommendations include frequent handwashing with soap and water or use of hand sanitizer with a minimum of 60 percent alcohol; covering your nose and mouth with a tissue when coughing or sneezing; avoiding touching your eyes, nose, or mouth; avoiding close contact with people who are sick; and if you are sick, staying home from work or school.

The City of Hoboken, Office of Emergency Management, and the Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) have opened up a COVID-19 hotline for Hoboken residents at 201-420-5620.

CERT members will be available to answer general questions pertaining to Hoboken’s COVID-19 response and serve as a resource with additional information for residents.

It will not be utilized for professional medical advice.

The COVID-19 hotline is open from 9 a.m. until 8 p.m. through at least March 20.

A separate hotline for Hoboken seniors requesting assistance, or anyone in contact with a senior in need, has also been set up at 201-420-5625.

It is operational from 9 a.m. until 8 p.m. until at least March 20.

Volunteers may be needed during the week to assist with various tasks related to the city’s COVID-19 response.

If you are interested in volunteering, please call the COVID-19 hotline at 201-420-5620 between the hours of 9 a.m. and 8 p.m.

The Hoboken Health Department will continue to operate, but the city says it should only be contacted by medical professionals.

Those that believe they were exposed to COVID-19 and want to be tested should contact their primary care physician first. Then they may also call the Hoboken Health Department at 201-420-2000 ext. 5211.

For updates on this and other stories check www.hudsonreporter.com and follow us on Twitter @hudson_reporter. Marilyn Baer can be reached at Marilynb@hudsonreporter.com.

 

Enlivening Ourselves

0

Dear Dr. Norquist:
I am having trouble with my relationship with my sister, and I’m hoping you can give some advice about it. I have two brothers and two sisters but one of them, my youngest, I’ve always felt somewhat responsible for. I took care of her while my mom was working when I was only 10. I guess the care-taking role stuck. Now I’m 40 and she’s 34 and I still worry too much about her well-being.
She doesn’t have good judgment. She hangs out with the wrong people and she can’t seem to support herself financially. I worry also about her safety. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. I also spend a lot of time feeling angry at her for decisions she makes (or doesn’t make). All this worrying and anger doesn’t seem to help the situation at all and it is definitely having a bad effect on me. I have trouble relaxing. My sleep is affected and I’m often tense and worried. My husband is sick and tired of me obsessing about my sister’s well-being. I wonder if you have any advice for me?

Dr. Norquist responds:
There is a concept called “over care” that probably applies to your situation. It is the result of being overly attached to or overly identified with someone or something. Overcare always leads to anxiety and fatigue. It also distracts us from and leaves us less capable of responding to our own lives. Often, when we overcare, we are trying to control something or someone in an attempt to feel safe and secure. My hunch is that you’d like your sister to have good judgement and show that she can take good care of herself so that you can relax, and feel secure, knowing she is safe. You are overly invested and it is wearing you down. Your response to your sister’s behavior makes a lot of sense, given your history of having been her care-taker when you were a child yourself. You, however, will never have control over her decisions and actions; so this is a no-win situation. It’s time now to focus on taking care of yourself.
There is a technique called HeartMath, founded by Doc Childre, that you can use when you are feeling consumed with anxiety or anger regarding your sister (or anything else, for that matter). It consists of simple but effective tools for refocusing your emotions. Research confirms that the heart sends neural messages to the parts of the brain that govern emotion and higher reasoning capacities. The HeartMath technique consists of tools to bring your heart rhythms into a coherent, harmonious waveform. This pulls your brainwaves into synchronization with your heart, which leads to greater mental clarity along with feelings of security and well being. Worry, anger, frustration and anxiety evoke irregular and chaotic heart rhythmic patterns that can be transformed using simple HeartMath tools.
A simple HeartMath tool that can be extremely effective is the “Power of Neutral.” To use this tool, start by noticing your feelings. This is not as straightforward as it might appear. Often underlying feelings are expressed as muscular tension, an acidic stomach, or rapid heartbeat, while we are not even cognizant of what we are feeling. Taking time out to notice and name whatever the underlying feeling is helps to regulate the emotional energy that is running through your body. Noticing your physiological cues will alert you to the necessity for stepping back and naming the feeling that is churning through your system. Once you name the feeling, focus your attention on the center of your chest, near your heart. Now, breathe slowly and deeply, imagining the air entering and leaving through the center of your chest. Try to disengage from the stressful thoughts and feelings, as you continue to breathe in a relaxing casual manner through your heart. Continue this process for several minutes, until you feel a shift, signifying that you have neutralized the emotional charge. Holding the attitude and the intent of neutral while engaging in this exercise will help you to dissipate the negative emotion. For more information on this technique, see The HeartMath Solution, by Childre and Martin (2000). Please give it a try and let me know if this is helpful to you. It can be a wonderful technique for disengaging from your “overcare” with your sister, and recharging and revitalizing your life.

(Dr. Sallie Norquist is a licensed psychologist (NJ #2371) in private practice and is director of Chaitanya Counseling Services, a center for upliftment and enlivenment, in Hoboken.) Dr. Norquist and the staff of Chaitanya invite you to write them at Chaitanya Counseling Services, 51 Newark St., Suite 202, Hoboken, NJ 07030 or www.chaitanyacounseling.com or by e-mail at drnorquist@chaitanyacounseling.com. Questions can address various topics, including relationships, life’s stresses, difficulties, mysteries and dilemmas, as well as questions related to managing stress or alternative ways of understanding health-related concerns. 2017 Chaitanya Counseling Services

Bayonne COVID-19 cases drop below 400, recoveries top 700

As New Jersey continues Phase 2 of reopening amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Gov. Phil Murphy has consistently said the data drives his decisions to move forward with reopening. In Bayonne, COVID-19 data continues to trend in a positive direction.

According to the Bayonne Office of Emergency Management, no residents have died from COVID-19 as of June 28.

In total, 74 residents have died from COVID-19 in the city.

OEM said that 368 residents have tested positive for COVID-19, and 751 residents have recovered and been cleared of the virus per CDC protocol.

Cases continue to decline in the city as more residents recover. On June 25, COVID-19 cases dropped below 400 in the city.

Bayonne Medical Center (BMC) reported no patients or individuals under investigation for the virus. This means all residents with COVID-19 are recovering at home.

COVID-19 case numbers in Bayonne have been trending downward throughout June. On June 10, the city had more residents who have recovered from COVID-19 than who are still sick with the virus.

According to OEM, the number of positive residents continues to decline, even as testing opportunities have increased.

Testing widely available

While some options have changed, COVID-19 testing is still widely available to Bayonne residents.

BMC’s drive-thru testing at Veterans Stadium has ceased, OEM announced.

“Anyone getting an appointment for a test by a Bayonne physician by the Bayonne Medical Center, will be tested on their property,” according to OEM.

Meanwhile, the the RiteAid at 54th Street and Broadway offers free testing for all residents over 18 via drive-thru.

Visit riteaid.com to register. Residents do not need to be symptomatic, nor do they need a prescription.

CityMD and BMC are conducting antibody testing as well. OEM has advised residents to dial 2-1-1 for a list of testing sites throughout the state.

Senior testing

The ongoing testing at senior congregate housing is offered to asymptomatic and symptomatic residents by BMC.

Residents in all senior buildings will be tested for for free, starting at 50th Street. The testing will then move to 2nd Street, followed by 21st Street, and 135 and 137 Avenue A.

The senior center at 74 Lexington Ave. and the YMCA will also offer testing. Though the buildings aren’t city housing, they are still senior residences with a high risk of spreading COVID-19, according to Bayonne City Council President Sharon Ashe-Nadrowski.

The testing will occur one building at a time, with 40 people per session. Residents preregister and are given masks afterward if they don’t have one. Ashe-Nadrowski said that the appointments are no-contact.

The free testing was set up through the Executive Director of the Bayonne Housing Authority John Mahon and the Chief Medical Officer of CarePoint Medical Group and CEO of BMC  Dr. Vijay Singh.

While senior testing is ongoing, New Jersey is well into the second phase of reopening. Bayonne appears to be in a good position to continue to reopen.

For updates on this and other stories, check www.hudsonreporter.com and follow us on Twitter @hudson_reporter. Daniel Israel can be reached at disrael@hudsonreporter.com.

City officials dispute police union claims about crime

Claiming the Police Officers Benevolent Association (PBA) union is misleading its membership and the public, city officials say crime has declined during the summer months under the current interim public safety director, compared to last year and years before that.
City officials were responding to PBA leadership’s categorization of Public Safety Director James Shea as “an absent” director. The back-and-forth came up during an ongoing labor dispute between the police union and the city over a proposed new contract.
But the charge against Shea may also be the result of his decision, along with Mayor Steven Fulop’s, to suspend four officers without pay last June after a high-speed chase led to a fiery wreck and the beating of an innocent bystander.
The city eventually reversed itself to suspend the officers with pay, as required under their police contract.
The union is also concerned about the fact that the city has yet to name a new chief and has been operating under an acting chief for more than two years.
City officials claim the protest is more about the city’s restricting of compensation days and sick time for police officers.
City spokeswoman Jennifer Morrill disputed union claims that crime stats are up. The Fulop administration continues to reduce crime with shootings and homicides down, she said, and noted that the administration has successfully negotiated new contracts with other city unions.
Responding to the claims by PBA President Carmine Disbrow that the department is flailing without a chief at the helm, Mayor Fulop said in a statement issued on Sept. 26 that data from the department shows crime is actually down during the period without a chief versus the same period in prior years.

_____________
“Director Shea and the police leadership and the men and women of the department have been continuing to reduce crime . ” – Mayor Steven Fulop

____________

City cites JCPD’s own data

During the past four months when Director Shea has been overseeing the day-to-day operations of the department during the search for a new police chief, he said, there has been a noticeable decrease in shootings and homicides citywide.
During the summer of 2017, the city saw fewer homicides, and a total of 30 shooting incidents, Morrill said, while in 2016 there were nine homicides and 53 shootings, with generally higher numbers in the years before that.
“The fact is that crime is actually down during this time period,” said Mayor Fulop. “Director Shea and the police leadership and the men and women of the department have been continuing to reduce crime and the results speak to that success. We will continue to be thorough and diligent in our search for a new police chief, while working with the police department and the residents to continue to improve public safety.”
Disbrow has claimed that negotiations stalled after the administration took action against officers in June who were involved in a police pursuit being investigated by the Hudson County Prosecutor’s Office. Those claims are false, Fulop said. Since the pursuit and crash, there have multiple days – some of them 16 hours long – of negotiations and arbitration between the city and the union and an independent arbitrator.
Since the last council meeting, the administration’s attorney has been in touch with the union attorneys twice and has made the last offer to them. They refused to respond, Fulop said. As recently as last week, the union’s attorney put in writing they would only entertain an offer that does not allow officers to utilize comp days at any time, despite any impact on public safety or overtime expenses.
“While the union may want to misrepresent the truth to play politics, the administration has an obligation to set the record straight on public safety and let residents know that we have been beyond diligent in protecting our neighborhoods,” said Fulop.

Al Sullivan may be reached at asullivan@hudsonreporter.com.

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