STATEWIDE -- So, remember back in eighth grade when you'd have a best friend, and then she'd become friends with this other chick, and soon you were losing your friend, and then the other girls would get people against you, but if you were smart you could get some people against them, and it would go on like that all year?
Well, that's what these "Real Housewives" shows are really about -- grown women acting like eighth graders. No wonder the kids on these shows seem more mature than their parents.
In Sunday night's episode of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey," which we recap because a few of the cast members live in Hoboken (that's our excuse), there was another party where all the warring parties just had to confront each other yet again. Remember "The Hills" when all the characters used to end up at the same bar each night and then all fight with each other? Yeah, this is a lot like that, only instead of going to bars in L.A., the producers keep egging Joe Gorga to throw parties for important events like the start of summer, his wife's "song" appearing on some show with Ryan Seacrest, the full moon, a sunset, a new episode of "Glee," etc.
In this episode, Jacqueline and Teresa are upset. Jacqueline got mad at "Tree" in the last episode because Jacqueline keeps reading all these things in the tabloids that Teresa never revealed to her. Because you should always take what appears in a tabloid as gospel instead of believing your best friend. How dare Teresa not call Jacqueline with every new issue to tell her what's false and what's true?
Well, at this part for Melissa Gorga's "song," Jacqueline goes over to Teresa to start drama and keep the ratings steady -- we mean, to patch things up.
Instead, they start fighting. Who cares why. In any case, Teresa decides to keep strengthening her family bonds so she doesn't have to deal with the Manzos and Lauritas anymore.
Teresa and Melissa and Joe Gorga are actually cordial to each other and pledge to patch things up. Teresa has already agreed to go to therapy with Joe, even though her husband seems to think it's sissified. Or sissyfied. How does one spell sissified?
Joe Giudice even refers to Gorga as Teresa's "sister" instead of brother. O-u- to the c-h.
Oh yeah, we forgot, Teresa met her cousin, Kathy "I'm the Best Mom" Wakile for lunch. Kathy Wakile and Caroline Manzo must share the award for the two people who seem to believe they're above all the drama when they instigate like everyone else. In fact, most characters in the "Real Housewives" are like that. Ever met the Countess from "Real Housewives of New York," for example? (If not, she's on this week!)
The show ends with a reminder that these people are all going to Napa together on a trip. Yep, that's exactly what they all need - alcohol.