Editor’s Note: Since this reality show filmed in Jersey City, we’re bringing you recaps of the episodes, thanks to intern Yarleen Hernandez.
Animal print galore!
JERSEY CITY AND BEYOND – Where did we leave off?
Anyway…after the trip to the gyno, the girls reflect on their experience of seeing Snooki’s baby for the first time. Snooki decides that she wants to invite the “Jersey Shore” cast over for dinner to clue them in on what’s been going on. The girls want to prep the house for the arrival of their fellow cast members so they decide to use the tacky decorations they bought in the last episode.
“How you gonna make a vase out of fabric?” Jenni asks Snooki.
“What’s a vase?” Snooki replies. We can understand why. She wants her guys to give her lots of jewelry, not flowers.
Jenni takes a trip down Newark Avenue to Downtown Hardware and buys lots of zebra and leopard print tape (10 each to be exact) for decoration, and to Sleep Cheap for some furniture.
She ends up buying “a bar set, a three-piece zebra Ottoman set, three rugs, a leopard chair and a leopard shoe.” Why not put on some Def Leppard to celebrate?
Snooks starts calling all the shore mates to invite them for dinner. Ron will be bringing Ron Ron Juice and Deanna will bring a Hot Pocket. Quite a chef, that one.
“They’re used to me all partying and drunk and going crazy, and now I’m gonna be a mom and a wife, so it’s like totally, um, 360,” Snooki says.
Snooks calls everyone EXCEPT for Mike. Obviously he wouldn’t be invited as he is always trying to sabotage Snooki’s relationship with Jionni. Everyone loves a pint sized, obnoxious ditz.
The girls call Anthony, the handyman, to help them fix up the house and get it “guidafied.”
When Anthony arrives Jenni realizes he’s not a sexy black man like she thought. As they’re all draping and decorating, Snooks ask the handyman to tell them a “sex story that went wrong” and they’re in for a surprise. After much bleeping, we can all guess how disguting his story was, since it even grossed out the girls.
After Anthony the dirty handyman leaves, the girls were not one hundred percent pleased with the work but figure “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and “beggars can’t be choosers,” as Snooks would put it.
The next morning, the girls get ready for a photo shoot at their home to have their pictures painted by Nick, the painter guy who leaves his number at department stores. “Me and Nicole want big paintings to cover up the ugly wall,” said Jenni. Are you sure the painting won’t make it worse?
“Two pictures of us looking mad hard would definitely make the apartment,” said Snooki.
The girls get changed and they go shopping for their big event. “I have no idea how the roommates are gonna react. I’m gonna tell them I’m engaged first but I also want a cool way of saying I’m pregnant,” said Snooki.
So the girls get the brilliant idea to write the message on a cake.
When they get home, tragedy strikes! All of their drapes have fallen off the wall and the girls start to panic. They start searching for a new handy man (to replace the psycho who talked about his sex story gone wrong). “I feel like I’m looking up prostitutes,” said Snooki. They finally find Brian the handyman. “This one guy sounds professional so he’s not gonna talk about bleeeeeeeppppppppp,” says Snooki.
Pauly D arrives first and he quickly notices the décor. “It’s just animal print after animal print. I don’t think there’s any more animal print left in Jersey right now; it’s all in this house,” he says. The furniture arrives next and Pauly finds himself unwrapping and building chairs. “This wasn’t what I expected,” he says.
Snooki seems to have found her death coffin at a very young age. Their new zebra print Ottoman seems to be the perfect fit. “When I die, I wanna die in a zebra coffin,” she said. I’m sure MTV can add that to your contract.
Pauly and Jenni pay their respects while Snooki climbs into her future coffin.
Soon Sammi and Deena arrive although they don’t think they’re in the right place at first. They bring wine in a box. A very classy touch. Snooki is forced to drink cranberry juice from a wine glass to avoid any suspicions about her bun in the oven.
Vinnie arrives next. “I’m excited to see my roommates in another scenario. First time we get together and just make fun of each other is always the best time,” said Vinny.
And Ron finally arrives. “Did you skin a cow for those curtains?” he asks.
The guys are shocked by Snooki’s cooking and cleaning. “This is **** I’ve never seen before,” says Vinny.
Everyone is having a good time and then Snooki gets around to telling them that “the real reason I invited you guys here is because me and Jionni are engaged.”
“Nicole getting engaged is crazy to me just because, like, I feel like she hasn’t really known Jionni for that long and they’re getting engaged already. That’s, like, serious ***, I feel,” Deena points out.
Snooks gets congratulations from everyone but the euphoria dies down quickly as the boys begin to crack jokes.
“I’m a little upset about this,” says Vinny.
“You know that’s one person for the rest of your life, right?” Ron tells Snooki. And Vinny quickly adds “You know that’s one penis for the rest of your life, right? Just get it over with; you guys are gonna be divorced soon anyway.”
“I kind of regret even inviting the roommates over because they’re just treating it like a joke,” she says.
In the new upcoming episode this Thursday, the girls reveal the “I’m Pregnant” cake and Vinny needs to be reassured it isn’t his baby. Hmm. And Roger feels free to say he’s had chlamydia 4 times while sitting next to JWOWW’s dad. As if that isn’t enough excitement, apparently there’s an upcoming fight between Jionni and Roger. “Jionni wants to challenge me. I’m gonna break this kid like a twig, you know what I mean?” Yes Roger, but it would be funny to see you get beat up by a little guy.
Tune in again for more! For previous recaps, see links below.